Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
