I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
She even gives head with a lisp.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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