haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
false alarm. still invincible.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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