He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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