My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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