Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
We don't watch enough power rangers
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
