What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
