You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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