I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
