This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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