Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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