Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
