Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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