Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize