even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Randomize
