we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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