I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
