god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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