My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize