Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize