Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
