I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
