Duck Duck Cougar?
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
