I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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