Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
