Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I have aggressive nipples.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
