drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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