YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
