She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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