6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
