ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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