i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
