i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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