he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
