She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
