dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
