We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
