i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
