She went from zero to smokin in five shots
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
