I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
