So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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