the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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