Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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