Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
