you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
