Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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