even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
