he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
