so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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