I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
