she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
