last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
