I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
