Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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