Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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