One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
