You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
