she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
