I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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