i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
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