Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
