If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
