My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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