you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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