Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
