sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Randomize
