Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
