I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
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