at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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