You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
