Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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