is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
