i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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