So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
