i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
and she was petting her beer can
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
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