I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
