it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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