Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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