Midget sex pt 2 tonight
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
We are all done wearing pants today
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
