those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
