this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
