dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
