He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I just want to make out with him forever
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
