They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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