One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize