the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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